Thoughts on Movie's Yet To Be Released


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NOTE: This is a pre-emptive complaining thread. Those who expect to like any summer blockbuster's please leave now.

In the coming months, a great wealth of summer movies will be released. Let's have fun watching various people tell us all why they will suck before they come out. (This thread is similar to the Order of the Phoenix Thread.) Here's a incomplete list of movies that might end up sucking, doing average, or being good.

  • Iron Man
  • Forgetting Sarah Marshall
  • The new Indiana Jones Movie (Kingdom of the Crystal Skull)
  • Where In The World is Osama bin Laden?
  • Wall-E
  • Son of Rambo
  • Made of Honor
  • Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
  • Street Racer
  • Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
  • Sex and the City: The Movie
  • The Incredible Hulk
  • Get Smart
  • Hellboy II: The Golden Army
  • Star Wars: The Clone Wars
  • The Pineapple Express
  • Chapter 27
  • War, Inc.
  • Mister Lonely
  • XXY
  • Standard Operating Procedure
The non-italicized list entries were edits added after the original posting.

And now we invite Omar Ismail, to bash all the movies. However, he might actually agree with me this year. Personally, I am looking forward to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Son of Rambo. Son of Rambo is not related to Rambo, which sucked. Son of Rambow (With a "W"), is about these two kids that make a movie. It's a comedy, and was the winner/best film of the Sundance Film Festival.

May the hate comments begin!

This post was edited by dialupinternetuser on 5/02/2008 6:35 PM
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Iron Man - trailers... I'll admit they look nice. Same thing happened with the video game, and look at the recently released demo. When it comes to "origin" movies Hollywood's track record is less than ideal. The only great super hero movie that has been released in recent times is Batman Begins. X-Men 1 was ok. Spider-Man was ok. Fantastic Four was horrible. Ghost Rider, Daredevil, Elektra, etc etc all crap. Iron Man DOES have potential but that is what will make this all the more disappointing. All the good parts will be in the trailer, which will come from the last 15 minutes of the movie where he finally learns how to use his powers. The first 1.5 hours will be spent "finding himself". Give me a break.

Wall-E - The team behind The Incredibles? Yes please! The animation looks sick, and I think it's going to be a hoooome run. Sorry, not much hate for this one.

Harold & Kumar - I love the first movie and the cult status that it has achieved. It probably helps that I look brown (though ethnically arab) and have many asian friends, so a lot of the inside jokes hit home. The first trailer for this made me die laughing, so I have big hopes for this one. Don't let me down guys.

Street Racer - the ads actually make this look really lame. But it's the Wachowsky's. I rewatched the first Matrix a couple of weeks ago and it's still very awesome. After the semi-failure of the 2nd and 3rd Matrix movies I have a feeling their next one (i.e. THIS one) will be the one to redeem themselves. So I'm actually hopeful with this one.

Chronicles of Naria - wow... the first movie sucked. The second movie will suck. SUCK all around!

Sex and the City: The Movie - like my opinion on this movie matters in any way whatsoever. Not that it matters in general, but it matters EVEN less for this movie.

The Incredible Hulk - I like Edward Norton. I think it's going to run into the same problems as Iron Man... but because of my boy Norton I'm keeping my hopes up.

Get Smart - overall it'll probably be pretty stupid, with some funny parts. It COULD be really funny, but "antipicated" hollywood comedies never pan out. Unless it's by the guys that gave you Knocked Up, it's not going to be hilarious. I want hilarious!

One movie that dialup didn't include is... The Pineapple Express.  This movie is going to be SOOOO sick. Here's the trailer

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I'd say one of the major problems with Harold and Kumar is that the first one was a cult classic, and sequels to those just don't work. Imagine if they made a sequel to The Big Lebowski.

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My friend saw HK2 on opening night and said that it was quite funny, with potential to match the original on repeated viewings. That's the thing about cult-classics is that they start slow, and then start to build momentum as more and more people watch them multiple times.

I'm hoping to watch it sometime this week, just gotta find the time!

I also want to watch Forgetting Sarah Marshal, and the new Tina Fey movie.. because I love Tina Fey.

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So Today Iron Man was released. I agree with Omar, it's not gonna be that great. Marvel needs to take a break. Son of Rambow was also released today. According to movieweb, it's

"A nostalgic trip back to the 1980s, "Son of Rambow" is an inventive valentine to an era where, for the first time in history, young minds had access to technology that allowed them to create their own stories while paying homage to their larger-than-life heroes from the movies that inspired them."

[via]

I think it will be very good, and will probably see it next weekend. Made of Honor was also released. It looks dumb, will be dumb, and will have about 5 funny moments. Don't expect anything great. Just a lot of lame gay jokes and men joking about who they're gonna have sex with.

Mister Lonely was also released. It could be good, I'm not sure. It's a comedy-drama about some celebrity impersonators of Marilyn Monroe, Michael Jackson, Charlie Chaplin, Shirley Temple, and various others

Along the documentary side, there's XXY, a movie about a hermaphrodite 14-year old and how she copes with her condition. Standard Operating Procedure is about incidents of abuse and torture of suspected terrorists at the Abu Ghraib prison. Both of these could be interesting, sick, or both.

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Speed Racer comes out tommorow. I've only seen one review of it, it the first thing it said was "Speed Racer is much less than the sum of its parts," i.e. Wachowski Brother + Special Effects + Speed = Crap. And for Iron Man, Jeff Bridges plays the villian. He also played "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski. There's no way I could watch this movie without cracking up a ton.

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That's a shame about Speed Racer. It's almost the complete opposite of Iron Man which seems to be getting a ton of rave reviews. So much so, that I'm actually looking forward to watching it. The breaking point for me was when someone I respect said it's even better than Batman Begins, which is one of my favourite movies.

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OK - Pineapple Express and Star Wars are coming. Pineapple express looks halarious, but I hope it's a little more of a "deep comedy" than the Superbad/Step Brothers type. As for Star Wars, who knows. Parts look awesome, but parts look dumb. That red twi'lek (the ones with head tails) chick looks like a cross between a tatooed-skank and a baby puppy. It could really go either way.

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